How to Survive My Friends

photo by nataliej

You have to be something else to be able to handle my friends. We are all very different but at the same time so similar it’s completely uncanny. The five steps to surviving my friends are: Be as weird as possible, Say I love you a lot, participate in “Hair Time”, Do Not I repeat Not touch their possessions, and sit at your correct spot at the specific table.

Step 1: Be as weird as possible

If you aren’t weird you wouldn’t be able to tolerate my friends. You have to some type of weirdness whether it’s the way you act or even the faces you make you need to be weird. How else do you think we would get along like normal people, but what it normal any way some make believe thing for by society to change the ay people are. We don’t change our weirdness we are just plain weird, I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Like this one time we were in science class and I walk over and the next thing I know I’m in the middle of a random foot date… please don’t ask but I mean who else but my friends would do that. 
Step 2: Say I love you a lot 
I love you is like a form of hello to us we litterally say it that often. If you don't say I love you in our group you are at risk of being shunned. Seriously we say it in unnecessary amounts it's kind of ridiculous. I don't know what i would do if I love you wasn't also like a safety word to us, we always say that when a joke goes too far. I love you  has save some of my greatest friendships.
 Step 3: "Hair Time" Participation
Once my friend Becky was sad so my other friend Jenifer walked up to her and she was all Hair Time while petting Becky's head.This has become a popular thing in our group. And you know what its pretty awesome. If you don't participate you will suffer from no hair time-itus its a serious issue that effects   everybody but us. But you can fix this by participating in "Hair Time". 
Step 4: Sit at Your Correct Table Seat 
If in fact you don't sit at your correct spot you will get pushed off of that spot and possibly fracture your tailbone. I have my spot becky has hers and so does jennifer with the ocasional turnip and if  you dont eat your food turnip will eat it. So make sure you sit in your correct assigned seat. 
Step 5: Do Not Touch Any of Their Possessions 
If you were thinking of taking Becky's ball you were sadly mistaken my friend , because nobody is aloud to touch her basketball. Your not aloud to touch Becky's ball Jennifer's keys or with out permission and my phone or any of our  inhalers. We are very protective over these specific items because they mean our lives. If any one does happen to touch them they bet that they may leave with a bruise and its mainly because some of these items saved our lives. If i dint have my phone i would never be able to call for emergencies, If Jennifer didn't have her keys she wouldn't be able to get in her house sometimes, and if Becky didn't have her basketball she would have a heart attack. And if  we didn't  have our inhalers we would die of no air in our lungs so you can imagine how much that specific item means to us. I would keep in mind the fact that we are most likely all stronger than you so just remember that when you try and touch any of our things. 

How to Survive A Brother Close to Your Age

 Knock Knock Knock, you here on the bathroom door. "Hurry up" says a nagging voice. Knock Knock. "Why can't you brush your teeth later?" This is your morning routine when you have a brother close to your age. Having a brother close to your age will probably mean you guys want and need the same things at the same time. Luckily I know how to survive though all this.

Photo by  Jason Pratt

First off you need to have power over him.
Second he needs discipline. When my brother messes with me I just squirt him with a spay bottle. Hey it works so don't judge me.
Third you have to control him.
Fourth don't be to ruff unless it is necessary.
Fifth he just needs straight up love. Love is always the best way to go if all else fails.